MR OBAMA GOES TO FIRST BANK OF CHINA

“Welcome Mr. President. We are very honored to have you at our most humble bank.”

 “Well, I bet you are. After all it isn’t just everyday that a president of the great USA ask China for a loan.”

 “Ah, I not sure if that is a accurate statement, sir. Anyway, how may I be of service to the great USA today.”

 “I have been thinking about this for some time now. I alone with the congress have decided to let your little old country bail us out of a small problem we are having.”

 “Sir, I am sure it would be great honor to bail out USA how much were you thinking of?”

 “I think a trillion would get us started. We might be back for a little more later. Just depends on how for this goes.”

 “I see. Now, most honorable sir, if I may ask what do you need this trillion dollars for?”

 “I suppose that’s a fair question. I am not for sure, how we are going to spend it all. You see my friends and that nasty Republican Party hasn’t turned in all their pork barrel spending yet.”

 “Pork barrel? America likes her pork a lot I see.”

 “Can’t do without it.”

 “Yes, other than pork what else will you be using the money for most honorable one.”

 “Banks, Mr. Howe, them darn boys are about to run out of money again. We gave them a few billion before Christmas. You know how bankers are. They went out and bought some more little fellows and then there were bathroom that needed to be fixed up and jets coming in. Then there was Christmas itself. I am sure you understand about Christmas, Mr. Howe.

 “Sorry we are more into New Years.”

 “Mr. Howe, Christmas just isn’t Christmas without a Christmas bonus. Then some of them old boys retired and they had to be paid. To top that off it was all those newspaper ads telling everyone how much they were helping. Finally, you must understand what a drain it is to foreclose on all those houses. I mean a bankers job is never done.”

 “Yes, I think I am beginning to see.”

 “Then you need $1,000,000,000.00 to bail out your financial system and by some pork products?”

 “Oh, no sir. I plan to spend some of it on the auto industry as well. You see they refused to build what would sell and now they are in an awful mess.

 “Not to mention all the states. They set their budgets on the best years thinking things would never return to normal. Now you cannot expect them poor governors to cut back on projects they can no longer afford. That would be plan un-American.

 “Oh, did I tell you back when times were good we didn’t repair any roads or bridges or even water lines and power grids. Now they are all caving in at one time. To top that off we do not have any money to fix them. Seems as if every thing goes wrong at once.

 “Then George stuck me with that stupid war that is nothing but a financial drain. But I think we should be out of that money pit within a year or so.”

 “Good thinking Mr. President wars aren’t only hell they cost a lot to. How much are you expecting to save there?”

 “Nothing, you see I got one of my own I need to fund. You know a war for a president is like a chess game for a normal person. It takes your mind off all the bad things that is going on in your own yard.”

 “One more thing I need the money for. I want to send everyone that voted for me some money. In fact to show that I am fair I am going to send money to the ones that didn’t vote for me also.”

 “You are a very generous man Mr. Obama.”

 “Thank you, Mr. Howe. There are some other things I plan to spend the money on. They aren’t very interesting so I want waste your time on them. You know things like the arts. You just wouldn’t believe what those folks can do with dung and pee-pee, just amazing.”

 “Yes, I think things are becoming clear to Howe now. Tell me honorable one. Do you have any collateral?”

 “Collateral, We be the good old USA we don’t need no darn collateral, boy.”

 “Sorry for asking, Mr. President. Please forgive silly Chinese banker. I am afraid I haven’t been properly trained in Western business.”

 “Consider yourself forgiven Mr. Howe.”

 “Mr. President, if you don’t mind me being so ignorant. How do you propose to pay back this loan.”

 “Not at all Mr. Howe. I’m a democrat. I plan on raising taxes.”

“Yes, I understand, sir. One more question please, sir. If people are broke. How can they pay more taxes.”

 “Mr. Howe, nothing personal but the one thing you Chinese know less about than business is government. I plan to give an even bigger stimulus check the next time. That way they have money to pay their taxes and still have some left over.”

 “I see. Mr. President I will get back with you on this loan.”

 “Fine, fine, when can I call you?”

 “I’ll call you. Have good day Mr. President and tell everyone in USA I ask about them.”

 “Sure, just be sure to call soon.”

 “Mr. President tell good people of USA to hold breath. Money is on way. Now I think your parking meter has expired. Good day most Honorable Obama.”

ggs

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