A Few Questions and a Laugh

I have a few questions.

 Just how in the world does an aid manage to get Air Force 1 off the ground and then have a jet fighter escort it across the New York skyline?

 My car suddenly want idle. It started Wednesday morning acting  crazy. When I stop, I have to place one foot on the gas and the other on the brake. I want be able to get it looked at until Tuesday when I have another day off.

 My question is this. Why is it I have caught every traffic light on red since it got this disorder? Up to last week, I caught both red lights as well as green. Now no matter where I go I find myself needing to idle.

 Why it is as soon as kids pass the city limits sign they have to pee?

 Why is it when you decide to cut back on your eating everyone picks that day to bring a cake to share from home?

 Why is it that the sales only come along when I am broke?

 Why does my boss only come in my office when I am on a personal call? If you can answer that one, answer this one as well. When he comes in why does the person on the other end of the call seem to refuse to allow you to hang up?

 Why does it always seem to rain in the afternoon after you wash your car in the morning?

 Why can everyone else see the hair growing out your ears before you do? I guess my other question is. Am I the only person that doesn’t hold a mirror up to his ears every day? I must confess I haven’t seen between my shoulder blades in a while now. There might be some strange something growing there also.

 Why don’t they put phones in your remote control? That way when you loose it you can simply dial it up and follow the ringing. My wife looses her phone all the time and uses mine to find hers.

 If you are done  answering all these questions, I will share something I found very funny. You may not and I hope it doesn’t offend you in any kind of a way. If it does, I would suggest that you get over it and learn to laugh more and complain less.

 Today be my baby girl 18th birthday.
I be so glad that dis be my last child support payment!
Month after month, year after year, all dose payments!

So I call my baby girl, LaKeesha, to come to my house,
and when she get here, I say, “Baby girl,
I want you to take dis check over to yo momma house and tell

her dis be the last check she ever be gettin’ from me, and I
want you to come back and tell me the ‘spression on yo mama face.”
So, my baby girl take the check over to her momma.
I be anxious to hear what she say, and bout the ‘spression on her face.
Baby girl walk through the door, I say,

“Now what yo momma say ’bout that?”

She say to tell you that “you ain’t my daddy”.
and watch the ‘spression on yo face”!!!

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Explore posts in the same categories: curious, humor, May 09, ramdom thoughts, stories

4 Comments on “A Few Questions and a Laugh”

  1. Davis Says:

    and why does a car park in the driveway, and drive on the parkway?

  2. gary Simmons Says:

    You see the world is simply filled with whys. I am glad I am not the only one that wonders about them.

  3. angie Says:

    I have always wondered why the best sales come along, when I am broke. I think about something you told me once, “A deal is only a good deal if 1. you can afford 2. you really want it.” There have been many times when I would look at something that was on sale and think now that is a good deal because I really want it and it is such a great price, BUT I can’t afford it, so it really isn’t that great of a deal.

  4. gary Simmons Says:

    Readers

    What a brilliant child I have raised. She is pretty on top of that. No wonder I love her so very much.

    Daddy


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