I Have Noticed

I have noticed that fat doctors never tell you to go on a diet.

Fat preachers never preach on gluttony.

 I have notice if someone you know goes on a diet and losses a few pounds, they tend to notice how over weight you are.

 I once lost eighty pounds. I never suggested that any one else try to loose any weight. I never bragged about how much better I felt or talked about the joy of buying new pants.

 I smoked for years. One day I was delivered from the nasty habit. I actually carried a pack of unopened cigarettes around in my pocket for almost a week. I finally decide that I had been delivered and that I wasn’t wasting a pack of cigarettes by throwing the ones in my pocket away.

 Then until now and it has been over twenty years I have never nagged any one about quitting. I have never told any one about how much better they would feel or smell. I have never suggested that they were just placing another nail in their coffin by lighting another death stick.

 I have never placed a no smoking sign in my car or carried a little battery fan around with me.

 I actually believe if you paid for the restaurant you should be allowed to let people do whatever they want in it. After all, it is yours and no one has to come to it if they don’t want to.

By the way, you can’t smoke at my house. Its mine and I don’t want you to.

 I started going to a new church last year. Not once when I have run into an old church member have I told them how much better my new church is. I actually tell them that I miss the old church and the people that went there.

 I have changed jobs way to many times in the last year. Yet not once have I called someone from where I left and told him or her how much greener the grass was on this side of the fence.

 In short, I am happy that you don’t drink, smoke, cuss or tell bad jokes. I am happy that you are skinny and pretty as well as healthy. I am happy you like your new job and your new church.

 Now that we have established you are next to perfect do me a favor. Keep it to yourself.

 I am still fat, ugly and even think about smoking a cigarette after all these years. The desire normally hits me after about a twenty-minute lecture from you telling me how if you can so can I.

Take the test below if I haven’t already made you mad at me and have a nice day. You might even consider allowing someone else to have one also.

No, I am not talking to anyone that reads this blog. None of you would ever do any of the above.

Would you?????

 This is a REAL neurological test. Sit comfortably and be calm.  In other words, put your thinking process aside – i.e. put your brain in neutral gear.


1- Find the C below. Do not use any cursor help.

2- If you already found the C, now find the 6 below.

3- Now find the N below. It’s a little more difficult..

This is NOT a joke. If you were able to pass these 3 tests, you can cancel your annual visit to your neurologist.


Your brain is great and you’re far from having a close relationship with Alzheimer.


Just in case you didn’t do well on the test I will not tell you to go to a doctors or give your brain some sort of enema.

You see I like you just like you are. If you say, “But I couldn’t find the “N”.”

I will say, “Forget it. Its just a stupid test any way.”

I will never say, “If I can pass it I know you can to.”


Explore posts in the same categories: curious, humor, May 09, ramdom thoughts, stories

3 Comments on “I Have Noticed”

  1. Davis Says:

    proseltyzing can be so much fun

  2. gary Simmons Says:


    Interesting word. I had to look it up. Thanks for expanding my vocabulary today.

    You should really consider writing a page for me one day.

    Let me know. I have said it before I have no problem sharing.


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