You Talk Funny

A few years ago, I was on vacation in New England. It was one of the prettiest areas I have ever visited. We had been on the road for about three days. After leaving the little town that Norman Rockwell had lived in, I was starving.

By the way, the little baby he so often painted was still alive back then. She was an old lady of course.  She worked in one of the local art shops. She was very open and was ready to answer any question about Rockwell and any of his paintings.

She pointed out where the doctor’s office and the barbershop had stood.  It was like visiting living history.

Well, as normal I have gotten off the subject. I wanted to write about the fact that there isn’t a bottle of tobassco sauce in all New England. Those people loved bland food. Expensive restaurants would serve you a lobster boiled in clear water and give you unsalted butter to dip it in. For aside, they would serve a boiled potato. No salt no pepper no butter.

Now you know why I was starving.

Anyway we were going down the road when out of nowhere popped up a Taco Bell on the side of the road. As I was pulling in, I ask Pam what she wanted. We pulled through the drive in and I placed my order at the speaker. A voice came on with very New England drawl and told me to pull up to the window.

When I did there stood three girls. One said, “Please repeat your order.”

“A couple of cokes, a half dozen tacos and a hand full of far hot sauce.”

They all started to giggle. Then one said. “Say it again. Wait before you do though.” She went and got the rest of the crew. When they had all gathered around the girl said, “OK say it now.”

I was a little embarrassed so I cleaned things up this time.

“Two Coca Colas, six tacos. Six fire hot sauces.”

Now they were all giggling and laughing.

“What is so funny?”

“We haven’t ever heard any one speak southern before.”

“How you know I am speaking southern then?”

The speaker answered, “We used to watch the Dukes of Hazard.”

By now, Pam and I were laughing harder than they were. I set there and talked to them while waiting on my order. It took a little longer than normal because the little girl making the tacos kept coming back to the window saying, “What did he say.”

After receiving my bag, I spoke one last time.

Ifn you’ll ever be down in our neck of the woods stop on by hear. We’s fix up some sweet tea and set on the front porch and chew the fat a while. You’ll tell your mama and them we ask about them, hear.

When we pulled off they were all waving and hoping us a good time. Odd I spend more money than I intended to on that trip and the two things that will always stick with me is an old lady that was once a baby and some kids at Taco Bell.


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