Fire Alarm

I don’t know about you but to me this recession is turning into a depression. I have had more jobs in the last year and a half than I have had in the last fifteen.

The months seem as if they have become shorter. I could swear the car payment and house payment are due ever two weeks rather than ever month.

Gas is like a seesaw and groceries are steady going up. Steak is getting so low on the cow for us we will soon be having steak hooves.

Any way with all this going on the last thing I needed was a door-to-door salesperson ringing the bell. Still that is exactly what I got the other night.

There he was with a red box in his hand.

I answered the door. “Yes, may I help you?”

“Sir, the question is can I help you.”

“I don’t know do I look like I need help.”

“Not yet and I hope you never need the help I am going to tell you about.”

When he said this, I thought. I bet this is a Jehovah Witness. Here I am with my pants on he want never leave. When I think it is a Witness. I take my pants off before answering the door. This seems to disarm them. I sometimes wrap a tile around my waste. This really gets the old ones out of whack.

Still it is too late to take my pants off so I say, “What you got in that box? A  J. W. Bible?”

“Nope that would help you in the here after, but what I got will help you in the here and now.”

Before he had finished the sentence he had wiggled by me introduced him self to my wife Pam and had sit in my favorite chair.

I sit down by Pam on the sofa and for the next ninety minutes, I heard more than I wanted to about the fire alarm he carried in the red box.

Finally, I convinced him that I didn’t have $300.00 lying around to buy a fire alarm. Then twenty minutes later, he gave up on financing it for me and left.

It was too late by then. The damage had been done. Pam was convinced we were going to a painful death by fire that very night. She was amazed that we had raised two kids without one.

I brought up the fact that we did have two smoke alarms and that I had placed fresh batteries in them just ten years earlier.

At eleven o’clock that night, it hit me. I wasn’t going to bed until we had a fire alarm in place.

I got dressed, “I am going to Wally World and I promise when I get back we will be fire proof. You will be able to sleep knowing that I your husband have once again taken care of your needs.

Forty-five minutes later I returned with a fire alarm. After five minutes of installation, I joined my beloved in the bed. I must agree she was right. We both slept better knowing that a fire wasn’t going to consume us as we slept.

If you are thinking by now that you to may need a fire alarm, I am placing a picture of the one I got at Wal-mart. They are inexpensive and easy to install.

Sleep tight tonight and sleep safe.

ggs

V   >>  SCROLL DOWN

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V  DON’T STOP

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V   A LITTLE FURTHER

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V  YOU ARE ALMOST THERE

 

WHAT DID YOU EXPECT FOR $2.00

 

jiffy pop

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