Naked Betty

I don’t plan on ever making this site some sort of place to post warnings and such. I simply didn’t have that in mind when I created it.

Still some times, it is only the right thing to do. I have thought about it and this is simply one of those times.

My neighbor Betty is a wonderful woman. She will do any thing to help any one. Every stray dog and cat in the neighborhood stops by her house when hungry. They all know she is easy touch.

Betty is also one of the most attractive females I have ever met. Another words Betty is drop dead gorgeous.

Now that I have said that, allow me to add one other thing. Betty’s elevator just doesn’t quiet make it all the way to the top floor. She will fall for any scam.

I once said that people interested in creating a scam goes by and tries it on Betty to see if it will work.

 I was taking the garbage out the other day at the same time Betty was. We stopped as we often do to chat for a few minutes.

Out of nowhere she said, “Tell Pam if the tick man comes by your house for her not to answer the door.”

“Tick man, what is a tick man, Betty?”

“It is some government agency. They say that our neighborhood is infected with some rare tick.”

“Really I haven’t heard or seen any thing about any tick infestation. How do they check for them any way?”

“Well, this real nice guy came to my door and explained that he was told I had ticks. Then he took out a magnifying glass and told me to take my clothes off and raise my hands over my head and dance around.”

“And you did this?”

“He was with the government and you know I am always feeding strays.”

I was now smiling, “Well, that is true. I didn’t think about it that way.”

“Any way I was dancing around there when it hit me. What if this guy isn’t with the government. Before I could say any thing Jimmy the paperboy came by and seen me being inspected right there in the living room door. The poor thing ran over the garbage can and liked to have hurt himself.”

“Don’t worry about Jimmy, he’s a tough kid.”

“Yeah, you’re  right about that. I’m running late for work. If they come by your house, make them show you some I.D. My inspector said he left his at home.”

She began to walk off when she turned. “Gary, if he wasn’t a government man and all I would have sworn he just wanted to see me naked.”

“Oh, Betty I wouldn’t worry about it. I am sure a tick inspector is like a doctor.”

“How’s that?”

“Sees people naked all the time.”

“See you later.”

“You to Betty.”

Now that you have heard Betty’s story be sure not to fall for this scam. If you do, don’t say I didn’t warn you.

I have to stop now. I feel something crawling up my leg.


Explore posts in the same categories: humor, July 09, stories

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