New Job

I did something yesterday that I haven’t been able to do in almost thirty-five years. I applied for a job that had nothing to do with sales.

For thirty-five years now, I have hung around car lots with the exception of three years selling furniture and a few months trying to sell insurance on the phone. Of the three, I must confess I was a total looser at selling insurance.

I just have to see it and smell it in order to sale it.

It took most of the afternoon to land a job that I once would have turned my noise up at. Oh, how the mighty has fallen.

It is tough out there folks. I am only afraid that it is going to get tougher. This is the first time in my life that I can say that I don’t see things getting better soon. In fact, it has already been hard longer than any other time I can remember.

That is why I chose the dollar stores. I figure the worse it gets the better the dollar stores will do. I must have not been the only one thinking that. At one time, there was close to fifty people setting in a room just hoping for an interview.

It seems that there are three main things they are looking for in a dollar store manager.

1. You don’t steel too much.
2. You aren’t the type that lies about everything.
3. Then the most important thing of all. This one thins the crowds. You see they may over look one and two but this one is a must. You have to pee in a cup without hitting the floor.

In the car business there is only one. Pee in the cup

Yes, I am joking and yes, I am very grateful for the job. I hope it last about four years and then I will consider giving it up for SS. That is of course if there is any left at that time.

By the way, I didn’t even have to study for the pee test. I think the fellow with the long hair and tattoos may have. When they mentioned it was a condition for employment he stopped laughing and got very quiet.

Tell you the truth the way his hands were shaking I am not for sure if he could hit the cup.

My only fear was that I would come out with a wet spot on the front of my pants and everyone would point and laugh.

If you are wondering, this didn’t happen either.

Let me practice once before I close.

“You’all come on in her and buy something now hear. Haws’ yore mama and everybody.

Wish me luck. I am looking foreword to this new road in life God has opened for me.

One last thing. If you are thinking I am poking fun at dollar store, I am not. I am poking fun at my own self. It is better to laugh with someone than to cry alone. God must love to hear us laugh or he wouldn’t have placed so many funny things in our path.

Don’t believe me look in the mirror.

Have a great Day.

Explore posts in the same categories: humor, March 2010, stories

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