It Was Cold At My House Today

I know you Yankees laugh when I say it is cold at my house. Well, today it was really cold. I got up early and walked through my neighborhood and this was few things I saw.

My next door neighbor was out picking up his paper and he was shivering like a mobster in a tax office.

Another neighbor of mine happens to be a prostitute. I ask her how cold she thought it was this morning. Her answer,”Colder than my heart.” (that’s cold)

My dog went with me. At one point I had to chisel him off a lamp-post

It was so cold that I actually saw a flasher *describing* himself to a women.

My shadow froze to the sidewalk.

There was young man charging people to break the smoke off their chimneys.

I even witnessed the police tell a robber to freeze and he did.

A guy down the street from me is a lawyer. It was so cold he had his hands in his own pockets….

One man was flicking his Bic in his pocket!

When I got home I tried to take the garbage out and it refused to go!

The fire hydrant in front of my house was begging a dog to pee on it.

I ask my wife how cold she thought it was. As cold as midget accidentally placed in a refrigerator.

My son said he thought it was as cold as a well diggers ankles.

I want even tell you what the local witch said was the coldest thing on her this morning. (They are located between her throat and belly button)

Turn the heaters up. It can’t stay 45 for ever.

Explore posts in the same categories: animals, curious, Current events, January 2011, life, lol, stories, Uncategorized

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