Archive for the ‘Fall’ category

The Mess

October 7, 2013

Guess what? I have never been to a National park or Washington D.C.  I really don’t care if they never reopen. Take what they are spending on them and tack it on my social security check. Guess what the stock market is always down for a few days then it goes back up. That is how the rich get richer. I could care less about the stock market.

If you are worried the government isn’t going to cure cancer forge it. The congress couldn’t legislate themselves a cure for V.D. Turn it over to the drug companies, they’ll find a cure and make a billion at the same time.

Now for the debt ceiling. When I was 35 I decided I could borrow my way out of debt. I didn’t work. It want work for the country either.

Charity begins at home. Stop sending billions to people that hate us. Stop protecting everybody else’s borders and put the army on ours. First it would boost the local economies through the roof. Second we wouldn’t have to support everyone else’s rejects.

Before we can do any of this though we will all have to be put in cages. We that are living now are too stupid to vote the blood suckers out of office.

 

I say our children should lock us away now before we total screw it up for them. They will be the ones left with this mess.

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King Of Podunk

September 21, 2013

podunkMorning

I have a short story on Kindle for Free today and I think Sunday. King of Podunk

check it out on Kindle

http://www.amazon.com/King-Podunk-Porch-Drama-ebook/dp/B00F550J56/ref=sr_1_sc_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1379767421&sr=1-1-spell&keywords=king+og+podunk

Three Books

August 30, 2013

Just finished and placed my third book on Amazon. I think I am ready to go back to work full time. I have a feeling boredom is just around the corner.

Get a chance check them out. These are approximate prices. With Amazon, you save several different ways and it depends a little on where you live.

 Read a few chapters at Amazon. If you are interested and want an autographed copy, send me an email with your address. All three will be $30.00 any two will be $25.00 and Bubba Jones or Killing in the Delta will be $15.0 each. Back Porch Dramas are $13.50 each.

This includes shipping anywhere in the good old USA. gartalker@yahoo.comTell me what you would like the autograph page to say. If you live in the area drop me, a line and I will get one to you.

Upon A October Eve

October 25, 2012

It’s too early for Halloween but not too early to get in the mood. Hope you enjoy this story about a man and his brand new knife.

I took a walk last October eve

Hoping a ghost I might catch sight

The moon had not yet rose on this strange night

Suddenly I froze

I was scared to the tip of my toes

There in front of me appeared two eyes

Surely they must belonged to the dead

I suddenly wanted to be home in bed with the covers over my head

These spears of terror moved ever so slow, I imagined them belonging to a troll

I was now frozen in my tracks

Not able to will myself to turn back

From the darkness appeared a knife

I smiled with relief, when I saw it was only my wife

Still in shock I answered, “Hello wife”

“Goodbye” and with that she stabbed me with my knife

Let this be a lesson

Don’t enter the woods in October without your Smith and Wesson

If you do the ghost you desire to hear go boo

May just end up being you

A wife that you thought so true

May find herself feeling a little blue

Then when you least expect it, the blade will slice without a clue

I must close now, for I am on the path to hell

I hear my name chime with each toll of the bell

I am sure the devil can’t wait to hear this twisted tale

Good bye life

Good bye my wife

Be sure to wipe clean my new knife

 

 

 

 

 

 

HOW TO MAKE EACH OTHER HAPPY

October 15, 2011

FIRST I HAVE COMPILED A LIST ON HOW TO MAKE THE WIFE HAPPY.It’s not difficult to make a woman happy.A man only needs to be:
1. A friend
2. A companion
3. A lover
4. A brother
5. A father
6. A master
7. A chef
8. An electrician
9. A carpenter
10. A plumber
11. A mechanic
12. A decorator
13. A stylist
14. A sexologist
15. A gynecologist
16. A psychologist
17. A pest exterminator
18. A psychiatrist
19. A healer
20. A good listener
21. An organizer
22. A good father
23. Very clean
24. Sympathetic
25. Athletic
26. Warm
27. Attentive
28. Gallant
29. Intelligent
30. Funny
31. Creative
32. Tender
33. Strong
34. Understanding
35. Tolerant
36. Prudent
37. Ambitious
38. Capable
39. Courageous
40. Determined
41. True
42. Dependable
43. Passionate
44. Compassionate
WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:

45. Give her compliments regularly
46. Love shopping
47. Be honest
48. Be very rich
49. Not stress her out
50. Not look at other girls
AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:
51. Give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. Give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. Give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes
IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:
54. Never to forget:
birthdays
anniversaries
arrangements she makes

NOW HOW TO MAKE THE HUSBAND HAPPY
1. COME TO BED NAKED
2. BRING A BOTTLE OF WINE.

A PARABLE

May 18, 2011

It was the first cold day of fall that year. The temperature was hovering in the low 40’s with a promise of the first freeze of the year to occur that night.

Mary, a very lonely young maiden had just stepped off the main road and onto the final path to her cottage.

A sparkle in the shallow ditch running along the pathway caught her eye. She bent down to see a very poisonous, yet beautiful snake lying half-frozen to death.

The snake looked as Mary felt. She couldn’t help herself when she reached down and picked the beautiful gold and black serpent up.

He was so cold he barely moved. Partly from the empty place in her heart and partially out of compassion she decided to take the poor creature home.

She laid the snake on her warm hearth and stirred the fire. She then went to the kitchen and made her self a hot cup of tea and her guest a bowl of warm milk. When she returned she was delighted to see that the warmth from the fire was giving a second life to her new-found friend.

After they both had taken their nourishment Mary reached down and placed the snake in her lap. It coiled up and seem to be quiet content in its bed.

After enjoying the warm fire and tea, plus company for the first time in what seemed forever, Mary fell into a deep sleep.

She suddenly felt an excruciating pain above her breast. She awoke to see that the snake had dug his fangs deep into her. She could feel the poison raising to her heart. She stared down at the snake barely able to whisper her last word.

“Why”

The snake finished with his kill looked up at the young woman and said, “Fool, you knew what I was when you picked me up.

Story sounds stupid. Maybe, maybe not. How many of us have taken a job knowing better. Become friends with someone who had a lot going for them but also had a lot going against them. Voted for someone hopping they would change when they got in office.

I even knew a woman once that met a man in a bar. He was drunk and had been drunk ever night for as long as most could remember. Yet, she thought he would stop drinking once they got married.

See, Mary didn’t do any thing that most of us haven’t done at one point in our life.

The moral of the story. You really can’t make a silk purse out of a sows ear no matter how hard you try.

Another words almost everyone finally reverts back to their on nature after a reasonable amount to time.