THE FIRST ONE EVER

I have not smoked in 25 years. I started smoking at 15 and by the time I was 35 I was burning two packs a day. I am sure you have calculated my age by now.

Any way I started because all the cool people smoked. All the sophisticate people in school kept a pack. My mom, dad any most of my relatives smoked back then. Everyone on TV smoked. How much cooler could you be than the Marlboro Man.?

Then there was that sign on the package that read WARNING. When they placed that on the pack, I knew they where trying to keep something really cool from me.

Any way that is how I started smoking. What I want to know is how the first person got started. Let’s see he was walking through a field minding his own business when he saw this strange shaped leaf sticking up.

He said to no one other than his own self. “Gees, I think I will roll that leaf up and torch one end and suck on the other. Who knows if I do it long enough I might become addicted.

Then there was the pot smoker. “Hmm these tried oak leaves don’t seem to be getting me any where. I think I will try some of this. Be Darn I Am as High As A Kite. Let me try some of those pine needles next. They got a nice smell about them.

Then there was the idiot that said, “I am bored I think I will split the end of my tongue. That should be cool. “

Don’t forget about the first tattoo. “Willis, what you mean it wants wash off. Mama gonna beat my butt if I come home with a naked girl on my arm.”

Think about all those that went before us starting new idiotic things for the rest of us idiots to follow.

I will leave you with this. Adam and Eve suddenly realize they are naked. One says something to other. The other answers. “You want to do what with your what.”

I can’t tell you which came up with the idea first. I bet we both can guess whose idea it was to cuddle and talk afterwards.

It’s Saturday and know traffic will be slow today. So you faithful out there I will leave you with my favorite Wal-Mart pic of the day. I love the people of Wal-Mart pics. Got any send them to me.

This just happens to be one that can’t afford a dog.

Explore posts in the same categories: Feburary 2010, humor, ramdom thoughts, stories

Tags: ADAM AND EVE, cigarettes, FIRST, POT, WAL-MART

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